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One Joy

22 Sep

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One joy shatters a hundred griefs.

—Old Chinese Saying

Sculpture “Pleasing” by Maria Rubinke

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Like A Laugh

14 Sep

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“[Why are we so afraid of joy?] We think right behind joy is a knife that will cut your throat if we really feel it. It’s almost like a laugh—your chin goes up and your throat is exposed. If I laugh too loud, someone will slit my throat. That’s the terror of joy.”

—Judd Apatow

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Look Wise

23 Feb

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You Mustn’t Lose It

19 Feb

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“You are given one little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”

— Robin Williams

Not Been Paid

1 Feb

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“For all of you “housewives” out there, which of course is a term I employ that means anybody who has ever had to clean up somebody else’s shit and not been paid for it…”

— Roseanne Barr

I Will Miss You, Mr. President, Barack Obama

20 Jan

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Thank you for everything you did. Especially regarding Health Insurance and preexisting conditions. I felt safe with you as President. And you are super intelligent.

What I Say

10 Jan

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“I usually don’t agree with what I say very much.” — David Bowie

I miss you.

Wham Bam!

11 Jun

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Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am!

Roseanne Barr

24 Apr

I really love this story that Roseanne Barr tells to author Judd Apatow in his book Sick In The Head.

I love the balls she had and her revenge. She wasn’t going to put up with anyone treating her like shit!

On her show, Roseanne, there were many staff members she wanted to fire but the executives told her these employees had to stay through episode thirteen.

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So Swishy

1 Mar

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She’s so swishy in her satin and tat
In her frock coat
and bipperty-bopperty hat
Oh God, I could do better than that

Song Queen Bitch by David Bowie

Photography courtesy of the Los Angeles Public Library

Your Mouth…

6 Jan

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Can’t help it…I love this!

Whoever created this, Thank You!

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Without You

29 Dec

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Anything Can Happen In Life

8 Nov

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Cray Cray

6 Nov

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Your cray cray is showing! I don’t ever want to see it again!

Early Morning Bumper Sticker Reading

21 Oct

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Scary mentality. Perhaps this Wisconsin driver is just kidding.

Apple Cellar

3 Oct

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My husband bought tons of apples and told me he put them downstairs in the “apple cellar.” I didn’t even know we had an apple cellar. Turns out he plopped the apples down on top of one of my office tables in the basement!

Update: Now the apples are elsewhere in our basement, in paper bags.

The Mirror Haiku

25 Aug

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Quit job. Left mirror.

Two months later my boss mailed

it. Broken like job.

Linie Aquavit @LinieAquavit

21 Aug

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I’m on a diet but my lovely (and smart) dietician built into my diet 4.5 ounces of wine for me to drink one time a day.

We were out of wine. My husband told me he was going to the store to buy some beer.

“Will you buy me some wine?”

“No.”

Ok. Well, not really ok. 

But then I remembered we have a couple bottles of Linie Aquavit that our friends brought us. I poured myself 1.5 ounces over ice, which in my diet is the measurement I can have of hard liquor.

I said to my husband, “I don’t need the wine anyway! Look! I poured myself some Aquavit!”

He looked at my glass of iced golden Aquavit and said, “That stuff is almost 100 proof! I’ll buy you some wine.”

So he did. I dumped out the Aquavit. But it’s good to know I have a back up.

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Will You Join Me?

3 Aug

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Annoyed: Where Is The Friggin’ Remote?

29 Dec

I get up early, not feeling well, enjoying the darkness of the morning, simply wanting to lay on the couch and watch some TV.

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But nothing is simple.

Where is the friggin’ remote? Aaargh! 

I’m pulling up pillows and blankets…

Oh, THERE it is! Of course, how obvious!

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I lightened this image so you can see the remote.

 

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Only in my house can the remote teeter between the couch and ottoman and not be on the floor.

Fascinating stuff!

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